There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
