Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize