white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
