thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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