she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
