The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He? As in you personified your dick?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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