My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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