Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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