im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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