Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
