We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
