Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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