On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm at about main and main street
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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