I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
