dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
