I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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