you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
