did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
cat food counts as protein by the way
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
