they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
