i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
