just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
