If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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