were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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