This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
