I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
