I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
