Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
time to smoke my breakfast
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
