oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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