I want to stick my p in your. b.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
