I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize