Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
