just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
