Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
