tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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