I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I need water and some morals
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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