when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
