my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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