omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
