you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
