Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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