Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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