Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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