Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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