I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
