Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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