oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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