I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Someone came in the potted fern
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
