My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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