giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
