i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
