i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
