Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The air taste purple.
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