Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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