Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
