Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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