i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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