He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
COCAINE IS GR8
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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