cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
