so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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