I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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