I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Who died my cat blue again?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
