Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
