we're blogging at a bar
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
