My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
